Thou Shalt Not Emote
by xaosseed
On the general topic of ‘things done differently on the continent’ – see previous rant on French strikes where perhaps I was a little harsh on dear old Jacques, but never mind – I have spoken with a number of different people, from different backgrounds and on the proviso that none of them were a) lying to me or b) exagerating to try and get in my pants then I learned a few things that are interesting.
Mostly I learned that it is depressing indeed to come from a Northern European country, because everyone else has a better time than we do – frankly anyone would have a better reputation as a nation of lovers if they were getting that much practice. But setting all of that aside – denying it as lies is the most comforting way I’ve found – there is another matter, that of com-u-ni-cating.
Which I didn’t want to say to people, but I think isn’t worth the paper its written on. The more I have the conversation, the more I’m convinced that ‘I have fe-e-elings’ is something only said by sleazebags trying to trick other people into thinking they’re genuine. If you have to tell people, then you probably shouldn’t and anyway its being false.
Be true to yourself, and your heritage, don’t let anyone know what you’re thinking. Rage used to be acceptable, but thats not anymore either. No-one wants to know, men were never supposed to express themselves and post-feminism has equated ‘equality’ with being emotionally in control to. Bottle it up, thats what the sixties were really about, if you think about it.
And don’t touch anyone unless you’re sleeping with them either. No, Bad.
Comments
Are you being sarcastic or something? Just because you aren’t being emo, with floods of tears or brooding sulks doesn’t mean ‘not emoting’ – happiness is an emotion you idiot. *Not* being sunk into a blue funk all the time is an emotional state.
Emotional control – or modulating the expression of what you feel in a socially acceptable way is just how things work. And when you know and share someones social background very closely, you can tell what they think/feel even when they’re trying not to show. See poker faces?
It’s not North European Countries, the Scandinavians seem to have a right rollicking time. I think it might just be island life, depressingly
surely life in certain scandanavian countries is depressing, mainly due to the lack of requisite sunlight in the winter months, and their rollicking.
Also, is it possible that general statement about how one should or should not behave are generaly wrong when it comes to a specific social group? And that each group came together and developed their own particular rules for acceptable behaviour at some point. (similarly to the rules of what is acceptable in society at large, which vary with developing social trends, and exernal cultural influences) So, for example, what is acceptable in trinity gamers, may not be acceptable on the street outside goldsmith hall. (and would perhaps illicit some strange dissapproving looks from random passing pedestrians/Garda) ??
I disagree wholeheartedly. I don’t think people need to share *everything* and I too would distrust anyone beginning their conversation with “I have feelings” unless they are quoting Team America. But I think I can safely say that not saying anything leads to more confusion and missed opportunities. I have firm and conclusive evidence of this.
Generally a conversation that involves the sentence “I have feelings” means there’s a gross misunderstanding on one side or another, and one should proceed only with the utmost caution.
I’ve found, while wandering through a variety of social groups with a variety of standards, that it’s nearly impossible to find the boundaries of acceptable expression unless you (or someone else) steps over them. It’s a lot easier to watch someone else step over than to be the one who does the stepping. The same goes for trust. It’s not impossible to be able to express rage, say what you’re thinking, etc, but the consequences of a misstep can be significant. Erring on the side of silence has never backfired for me.
Sharing too much, however, has nearly always been a mistake.