A few weeks ago I was handed the beginning of an incredible opportunity. I fell in love with it, jumped, and failed. It’s hard not to be sad, but I have been saying to myself the entire time “This is a long shot.” Still, it was a pretty fracking cool target to be shooting for.

For anyone who’s heard me mention it only obliquely (or the very perceptive who have heard me not mention it but think about it while chatting idly about other things), I applied for a job as an analyst for CNA, a defence think tank. It would have put me in DC for two years, and probably Naples after that for as long as I could stand being away from Dublin.

And they send their analysts into the field to gather data. On aircraft carriers. I was faced with a dilemma: do I jump in with both feet, trying really hard to get this job, and risk sticking the Wanderer in DC, away from friends and family (and me, for 6-12 months at a stretch) for an extra two years? Or do I let it go by, since it’s not really what I’m looking for?

You might guess the opportunity to hang out on an aircraft carrier and sail the world wooed me sufficiently.

Alas, they are no longer interested in me, though they were kind enough to send me an e-mail telling me so. On the bright side, I can have all those braincycles back, I don’t have to go shopping for a suit, and I’ve had the chance to dust off my CV and go through an interview with no dire consequences of failure. Although I stood to gain quite a lot, I’ve lost nothing and gotten a bit of experience.

May I accept all my future failures with this much perspective.

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