Déjà vu 2: Return of Déjà vu

by wanderer

It seems the planets have aligned again and I’ve been stuck with the irresistible urge to blog and this leads me to wonder if my need to rant is inversely proportional to my level of WoW addiction.

For me, WoW has kinda been like an embarrassing itchy rash. I can never quite get rid of it, and always feel ashamed to have it, but it’s still really satisfying to scratch at even though I know it’s doing lasting damage. For those of you keeping count, this is currently my third bout of WoW addiction. Each outbreak has involved brand new copies of the game all procured through different nefarious means. In fact it just occurred to me that I’ve only ever once actually purchased a copy of WoW myself. I wonder if that absolves me of the sins, or just draws me in ever deeper… Hmm…time will tell on that one. Anyway. Back to what I was talking about.

So as you’ve probably guessed from the opening, my rollercoaster relationship with that online monstrosity, which was riding high about a month ago, is once again hurtling down into “Oh-my-god-I’m-wasting-my-fucking-time”sville for the third time. This time around it comes complete with hourlong “Log on and do nothing” sessions, interspersed with the occasional 5 hour Naxx grind that makes me want to kill myself. So, having lost this fight on points twice before I can see how this is going to play out, and I’m throwing in the towel early this time, before my metaphorical boxer suffers too much brain damage.

But, much like a junkie starting out onto the straight and narrow, I found myself in desperate need of a methadone fix. First up I tried Painkiller.

Painkiller is a weird game. Imagine if Quake and Serious Sam had a love child. This would be the game the child wanted to grow up to be. It’s really fast paced, has tons of spawning enemies, and a hilarious cavalcade of weapons to mow them all down with. It seems Painkiller decided they were tired of the “2nd attack button just doing a similar attack to the 1st one” stuff that every game seems to have these days. You know…you get a rocket launcher. It fires rockets with the left mouse button and lobs grenades with the right one. Painkiller pretty much said “Fuck that,” and combined their grenade launcher with a gun that fires wooden stakes ala Von Goosewing from Count Duckula. Go check out the demo, if only for the arsenal of unbelievably ridiculous (and fun) implements of death. The whole thing is only 3 levels long, and you should play through it in about an hour (less if you’re not the ham fisted R-tard that I am), and the boss fight is pretty damn cool.

However, good and all as it was, I was not prepared to get the full version. And by “get the full version” I mean download it illegally from some torrent site. And that’s the real gauge these days, isn’t it? If I can’t be arsed stealing it, it’s probably not the game for me. Then it occurred to me…maybe the same inexplicable cosmic alignment that occasionally strikes Gabe over on Penny Arcade had affected me as well.

“Maybe that’s what I need, an RPG,” I thought, and set off in search of foul monsters to slay, gold to procure, and an insanely complex plot to ignore.

…to be continued.